The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Sunday, August 28, 2005

MTV VMA CommenTerry The FIrst Hour

Where do I begin first?

Destiny's Child - Beyonce has the nicest dress and Kelly's weave was a rush job. What is this 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 all over again?

Jessica Simpson - You seem to have been floating. Or lifted. Or um...high...on life of course. Oh what happened to the girl from Texas who I met three years ago on the E! True Hollywood story that came into the game singing for the Lord? Was that a bra and booty short set? I am not hating on your for wearing it, in fact...you should send a note to Tina Knowles because your booty short set was way more fly than Beyonce's booty short set from the MTV Movie Awards. While we are on it, should booty shorts come as a set? I always thought it was better to mix and match.

Kanye West - Shout out to you brother for the Time Magazine cover. And I like your outfit. You are impeccable. Please pass this note along to your stylist: Hey, I like what you are doing with Kanye's fashions. He represents for us brothaz who didn’t grow up in poverty. But yea, I have a comment about his sunglasses. He kinda has a rectangular head right. Now I was pretty good in Geometry when I was a high school sophomore so I know a few things about angles and structure. Now, you should not put rectangular glasses on a rectangular forehead. Kanye needs the wrap-around glasses ok. Yea, I know the glasses cost more than I will be making for the next 4 months, but still....really?

Amerie - A mer ree. Hey...why do people pronounce your name Ann-Marie? You would think at the point in your career your manager would make sure people address you correctly. I mean come on...you are sleeping with him right? Tonight before you get out of bed to go get him a moist towel, just kinda slip that in...ok.

Shout out to John Legend for having a beautiful leggy model with him at the awards. Which reminds me, I am going to wear my beard long next weekend. Hold on while I call my barber.....

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 6:02 PM :: 0 Comments:

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