Friday, December 16, 2005

CommenTerry on The Apprentice with Donald Trump and a letter to Ms. Jackson

Mood: I am a little under the weather. That was the real reason I was so evil yesterday. But I am confessing my healing, praise Jesus, and walking in the anointing. I am also doped up on Drixoral and codine so I feel WONDERFULLY NUMB.
Mode: Today i am wearing ANOTHER signature Sean John shirt with dark GAP denim and a J.Crew tie. Oh, my shirt is cocoa brown like my skin and the tie is orange/blue in a checkered pattern. I am wearing Kenneth Cole boots that come slightly above the ankle.
Munchies: I had scambled eggs with cheese AGAIN - with coffee, OJ, and ham.
Motif: How can we learn from our past so that we do not continue to revist lessons we should have learned?
Music that started off my day: "You Can Call me Crazy" by Guy. This is my jam!

CommenTERRY on The Apprentice with Donald Trump

Randall Pinkettt won.

I know Randall personally. He was an inspiration to me as a sophomore in college. I was awarded a big scholarship from Citibank and as a Citibank Fellow, I was introduced to Randall whose consulting firm ran a seminar that taught me interviewing skills, resume writing and job hunting techniques. Let me tell you frankly: he is everything you would imagine him to be. I would describe him as amazing. I have long since finished my undergraduate degree as well as completed graduate programs at the London School of Economics and Northwestern, and to this day I still use the tools Randall’s firm taught me. I am so proud of him.

He is a Rhodes scholar AND has a PhD from MIT. He has a resume that puts everyone I have ever met in my life to shame.

Now onto the dirt: So for all of you who don’t watch the Apprentice, I am going to sum up the entire year as well as last night’s show in a few lines cause all you need is the juice. Ok, basically, the show boiled down to Randall and Rebecca (a sickening female who put everyone else on the show to shame. She broke her foot and completed the entire show on crutches! SICKENING! But she wasn’t as fierce as Madonna who fell off a horse and had Chanel design her a couture arm sling. Rebecca was rocking the cheap hospital crutches.
Rebecca – this is national TV sweetie. At least have someone get Banana Republic to trick out a lil walker for you. Had it been me, I would have asked Sean John to design me a funky walking stick, you know, the hood meets the suburbs or something. You learn how to pimp the game in the introductory course to DIVA/DEVO 101.)

Also, let’s all be honest. One of the reasons I watch the show is for its brutal (yet sometimes subliminal) honesty about the inner workings of corporate America. I hope this show proves once and for all that African Americans do have a place in the Trump organization. You are going to need five degrees from elite universities but hey….ain’t that always the case?

And let us not ignore the other subliminal battle here: affirmative action. I AM NOT AT ALL saying that played a role here, but what I would like us all to visit is that most scholars on corporate America and work force dynamics agree that white women have benefited far more in the work force since the 1970s when compared to Black males and females. And here on the Apprentice, the battle came down to a Black man and a White female. Mind you, Rebecca is only 23 and has one degree while Randall, who is 34, runs five companies and has five degrees, so you can see that the Blacks always gotta bring a lil something extra to the table.

Now back to the dirty, unlike the first seasons’s disappointment (aka Kwame Jackson) Randall also played the role of the passive-aggressive "very nice non-threatening Black guy" but when it got down to the final show he pulled out his big knife and slashed Rebecca from ear to ear and left her spewing blood on the desk of Donald Trump!

Zinger Number #1 – Donald asked Randall why he should be hired over Rebecca, Randall looked at Rebecca (who is a business journalist) and looked back at Mr. Trump and said "Mr. Trump with all due respect, I run businesses, Rebecca just writes about them."

SIDEBAR: The audience was aghast! You could clearly here the amen corner (aka all the black folks Randall brought down from Jersey, probably the same area Whitney Houston grew up in) cheering. He just slayed her on national television! If you remember from the first season, Kwame didn’t bring any knives to the table AT ALL. Randall brought a few butchers, two daggers and a chain saw AND he pulled them out accordingly (at all the right times). Rebecca was not ready.

Zinger Number #2 – Ok. Get ready for this one. Hold onto your seat. Cause I thought he slashed her and left her on the desk with zinger number one. But get ready folks. Mr. Passive Aggressive Black man showed his true colors of RED GREEN AND BLACK. So, Mr. Trump tells Randall "You’re hired."

Then, Donald (ok, brace yourself for this part cause I want you all to just gag about this and then tell me what racial/sexual dynamics you see playing out), tells Randall, you are BOTH stars. You know, I COULD be TEMPTED to hire BOTH of you. But Randall you are the Apprentice, so let me ask you "Should I also hire Rebecca?"

SIDEBAR: Ok class, passive aggressive Kwame would have enthusiastically said YES! Hire Miss Rebecca. Then we can get an office together and I can slay her with my big black schlong one night while we are working together (by the way, rumor has it that Kwame ONLY dates white women – since divorcing his 1st black wife; meanwhile, Randall is married to a black woman).

Now I am no where in this debate concerning black men who screw and impregnate black women yet date and marry white women cause I ain’t interested in dating or marrying or sexing either HOWEVER, I just wanted to point that out cause I am a vindictive little southern gentleman. I serve up my sarcasm with a glass of iced tea with honey and lemon.

Are you still holding onto your seat? Ok. So, remember the question Mr. Trump asked? Now, we finally get a black apprentice and Donald tries to steal Randall’s thunder by hiring Rebecca too, but he doesn’t want it to look bad so he asks Randall if he should hire Rebecca. Ok…..ladies and gentleman…….Randall looks at Mr. Trump and says…..

"With all due respect Mr. Trump, the name of this show is the Apprentice, not the Apprenti and there is only ONE apprentice."

I want you all to know I wiped a tear from my eye as paramedics from The Upper West Side hospital rolled Rebecca away on a stretcher. I am told she lost 5 pints of blood and needed several transfusions (one for her self-esteem, two for her newly developed fear of "nice" black guys and one for her bad perm and choice of attire)

Christmas list for Rebecca: Sea breeze, cocoa butter and band-aids. Time is needed for healing.

Oh, and a Kirk Franklin CD cause if God can deliver you from porn he can surely heal some wounds. Amen.


Now ladies and gentlemen (both natural and surgically altered) here are today’s headlines (or as least the ones that interested me)……


PERSONAL PLEA TO JANET JACKSON

May 16.

The day is a day so special to me. Janet Damita Jo Jackson was born on this day. And so was the Texas Tiger. Because we are both of the sign Taurus and because we were born on the same day, I understand Janet and her motives, moods and moments.

Now, I am not going to be nasty. I am not going to be mean. I am not going to be malicious. But I do want Janet to grapple with some issues I often have to deal with myself. And maybe you can relate. I had a very Oprah-fied moment when I realized (courtesy of the goddess Oprah) that we will continue to repeat issues and situations until we "get" the lesson we were meant to get. If you do not successfully get the lesson, life sends it around to you again via another situation, another meeting, another individual...but the message is that you will relive the cycle until you learn from it. I grapple with this a lot and I still struggle with it. Another thing I struggle with is getting myself into uncessary situations. What I have come to learn is that we do not need to experience ALL the facets of life. I do not need to try crystal meth to know it could potentially ruin my life. We should also be able to listen to our inner voice and step back from certain life experiences and say to ourselves, "I don't need to do this because I already know the outcome." Likewise, we should be able to look at those who have paved the way before for us, and be able to learn from the foundation they have laid. Sorry for the verbose prose but I want to set you up for my conversation and suggestions for Janet. I am attempting to be brief because I know you are busy and what I have to say to Janet is very short:

#1. Dump Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis (this is a behavioral pattern you should have learned from already)

#2. You are the Black Madonna. I hate to reduce you to a charicature of another woman, and a white woman at that (cause I know all the sisters are going to get evil with me) but I want you to look at how she has paved the way for you to be a "break out" diva and learn from what she has done.

Let's visit #1.

This is about you as an artist. I do not know you as a individual. But I have been with you every step of the way as an artisit.



You are sweet. We get it. You have cute chubby cheeks (even post-surgery). We get it. But what we also get from your first two albums is a woman who was not in control of her life, her music, her abusive husband (shout out to James Debarge) or her family (shout out to your "nonexistent" 18-year-old child). Coming off the heels of FAME

as the sweet "Cleo Hewitt" WE WANTED SO MUCH FROM YOU BECAUSE WE KNEW YOU HAD THAT FIRE IN YOU. THE SHY INGENUE WHO GOT ON STAGE AND SHED THE SHY GIRL ROLE AND BECAME A SASSY VIXEN. WE ATE IT UP.

But you were in such turmoil. Such distress. I knew, you knew, I think we all knew that the only way for you to grow was to run away, so far away from the pain, the drama, the hurt. To leave James (no time for getting slapped around), to leave that baby (no time for breasting feeding, and it looked too much like James anyway), and to leave the family (got tired of Joe yelling, and screaming, and yelling, screaming and calling Michael a fag). Like Mariah Carey running through a green and misty field with a big ole white horse in a white slip dress, you had to go to Minneapolis and spread your wings to prepare to fly. Cause you wuz about to become a sassy Butterfly.

Joe Jackson put you in a box, like Tommy Mottola did Mariah and like Berry did Diana, and like Clive did Whitney and like Rick James did Teena, and like Jay-Z will HOPEFULLY do to Beyonce. A diva needs to breath, and fly, and have room for all those wigs and weaves and gowns and sequins. A diva cannot be smothered by a controlling man. It affects the music. There are only two divas uncontrolled by men in life: Barbara Streisand and Madonna. And they are still banging out the beats. But I digress.

You broke free and when you went to the midwest, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis allowed you to breathe. I am sure they admired your talents, your writing, your dancing and the fact you never questioned "their" relationship.

And once you broke free and had time to exhale, you put out the beats.

Control - Sassy sexy Ebony vixen. Anti-Jody Watley. Jody was sassy for the street kids and the urban life. But you were sassy for the bougeoise and the suburbs. A rich girl with problems (Pleasure principle). A crazy daddy (Control). Looking for love (He doesn't know that I'm alive). Needing reciprocity (What have you done for me lately?). Not giving it up on the first date (Let's wait awhile). Tired of nasty boys (Nasty). You were so OVER. We were not ready. Who is this masked woman?

And then.............

Rhythm Nation 1814 - Sassy sexy Educated Ebony vixen. The pre-Angelina Jolie. Solving world problems with body and brains. You were the safer female answer to Public Enemy. With your foot-soldiers of all races and hues and sexual orientations, you opened our eyes to what was really going down. Crack epidemic (Black Kat) Illiteracy (The Knowledge) Racial injustice (Rhythm Nation) Social ills (State of the World) Still yearning for love (Miss You Much) secret rendevous with married men (Escapade) loving a man you know you need to leave cause he crazy (Love will never do without you). You were a better woman. Still in control but breaking the kids off properly with the knowledge. Bigger. Badder. Better. You were so Over. We were not ready. Who is this brilliant woman?

And then............

Janet. - Sassy sexy Educated Ebony DIVA Vixen with a THEME. This album is where you really put your foot in Madonna's a$$. You were everything she was but classy. Yea you were half naked but you pushed the envelope to a safe center of the table whereas Madonna pushed the envelope off the table and in the middle of the floor. And we were not always feeling that. SIDEBAR: Was Madonna's SEX book really relevant to anyone?
Back to Janet: But you had evolved. You were not just a singer. You were an artist. You had gowns, and wigs, and movies, and a hot Puerto Rican Lover and you were giving us an album with a storyline. Ya girl was doing shows. Candles, and soft lights and fluffy pillows and stuff. Getting remixed by R.Kelly and getting jiggy with rappers and stuff. Telling us the real. Aids/Stds (Youwant this/Be a good boy) still chasing after a man you need to leave (Again) finding love (That's the way love goes) sexual fantasy fulfillment (If)
meeting a man with a big schlong (Throb) racism (New agenda) subliminal stripper's anthem (Anytime anyplace). You were so OVER the kids were done.
Madonna who? Jody who? Taylor Dayne who? Vanity/Appollonia/Lisa&Wendy/Sheila E/Sheena Easton who? We were not ready for Janet. with the six pack, freshed dyed auburn weave and perky breast implants accented by a newly sculptured nose. WHAT? WHAT! Who is that gorgeous goddess?

And then....................

You sold 8 million albums and sold the hell out.

You may not agree with me, but hear me out. After Janet., every subsequent album was a remix. Now this is just my interpretation of the songs but really, have we covered ANY new ground. Yes, I love the albums and I have favorite songs on each...but what new issues did she tackle? And before you even try to go there, don't come at me with the Velvet Rope was her dark album. That was a cheap publicity ploy (a very BAD imitation of a Madonna tactic). The only thing she dealt with on the Velvet Rope was writers block and a bad stylist.

I think from Control to 1814 to Janet., she was growing. But after Janet, the worldwide acclaim and pressure from the record company to sell 8 million records every time was too much for her, and Jimmy and Terry. Mind you, the Velvet Rope was the second album after the switch to Virgin so I am sure she had to deal with industry pressure to match her own success, and keep in mind, Madonna had hit a rough pact with Erotica, the Sex book and the movie Body of Evidence. Public approval ratings were at an all time low and Janet was the only Diva the kids could turn too. I think the pressure was a lot. Was she banging out the hits? Yea. But she was no different that Puffy who just remixed the 80s. 8 million of ya'll loved Janet., so every 2-3 years she put in some new tracks (in her hair, not in the studio) and gave ya'll some fresh dance moves and a dirtier, sexier world tour and you got tricked into thinking she was coming at you wit the new Janet. The deep Janet. Janet in control. Yes, controled by market forces and exterior expectations.

And all of that pressure, the pain, the need to top Madonna and Mariah (the new light-skinned girl on Columbia who was killing it and breaking every record ever set!), the need for validation...it all culminated into that infamous Superbowl performance....and then the bottom fell out...along with her breast.

And I blame each and every one of you reading this for allowing this self-destruction to occur. And I want you to think about that before you go to bed tonight.

SIDEBAR: Even the Superbowl performance was a remix of her first two tours. NOTHING NEW since the 90s. A hot mess.

JANET - leave Terry and Jimmy alone. I know you love them. I love them too. I mean, who else could make me go buy Mya's album. (fyi -they produced "Free" the only Mya song I can stand).

But Jimmy and Terry are the new Joe Jackson in your life. You are not in control, their production is in control. And the three of ya'll ain't giving it to us the way we like it anymore. Learn this lessson. Get the Oprah boxed-DVD set and realize you didn't become who you were until you broke free of Joe and found some hungry producers to work with you and help you find a new voice. Jimmy and terry aren't hungy. They are now rich and very talented industry fat kats. You need to leave. Go find some hungry producers who need some money and exposure and give us some gritty, grimey dance beats with some fresh moves. Its the only way. Look back on your life (like you pretended to do on the Velvet Rope) and see that you have to find your voice. We are not interested in the old Janet anymore. No one bought Damita Jo. Why should we? I already have Janet, Velvet Rope and All for You. In a world of bootlegs and illegal downloads, ain't nobody bout to drop $15 to hear you repeat yourself.

#2. Look at those who paved the way. I hate to say it, but Madonna is doing it like you should have. I do not need to recap Madonna's career or reincarnations (virgin slut (Madonna), material girl slut (Like a Virgin), pregnant slut (True Blue), religious slut (Like a Prayer), queer-loving slut (Vogue/Immaculate Collection), r&B black man loving slut (Bedtime Stories), reborn slut (Ray of Light), mother/world slut (Music), political slut (American Life) and retro virgin/materialgirl/pregnant/religious/queer-loving/r&B loving/reborn/world slut (Confessions on a Dance Floor). SIDEBAR: I need you to elevate your mind and know I am saying "slut" in a politcal sense. Madonna spent her ENTIRE career challenging conventional definitions of behavior and sexuality and has often been deemed a slut. In my reading of Madonna, she was not a slut but she was a woman who took charge of her sexual power. The world called her a slut. She called herself: "WOMAN" and we heard her roar.

But Madonna used Confessions to revisit EVERYTHING we loved about her while she pushed to a new frontier by expanding the depths of her music giving us 1985 but in 2005. Taking the best of the 80s, the confusion of the 90s and the enlightenment of the new millenium and putting it all back on the dance floor....where we first met her.

I love you Janet. Lord knows do (in my wavering Miss Sophia voice from the color purple) but I fell in love with a beautiful woman who taught me to take control and dance. Who the hell would pop out her breast on national tv for children to see? Whether that was a malfunction or not, no one needed to see ANY part of your body on the Superbowl. It was the Superbowl. What the hell is wrong with you?

My suggestion - Take everything you wuz, you were, you are and you is and roll it into a ball and take us back to the dance floor. Notice I said the dance floor...not the clubs. There is a difference. You should not be in the studio with Kanye West, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, G-Unit, Fat Joe, Ashanti, Beyonce, Usher or ANYBODY else from that vein. Madonna did an album with no duets. You held you own on Control, and you can do it again. Please. For Me. For you. For us. For everyone reading this and for everyone who is going to tell their friends to read this.

I want the innocent Janet. The one who wore black cause she thought she was too fat. There was beauty in your insecurity. I want the secret Janet. The shy girl with a freaky side behind closed doors. There was beauty in your adaptability. I want the funky Janet. The one who could out dance her dancers. Who, even when she was chubby, could slide down the banister on When I think of You and dance in the middle of the street with sprinklers and stuff popping off in the background. I know you can do it.

And regardless to what anyone says, Beyonce and Ciara are not on your coattails cause you are an Icon. In another league. You think Madonna is at home trying to sound like Britney or X-tina? She knows she doesn't have to. And so do you.

I don't know what you are going to do - but do something.

Like you said in Let's Wait Awhile, PLEASE PROMISE ME YOU WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT.



And now for today's headlines (aka whatever interests me):

The link between high-yellow and mocha brown and vanilla swirl (aka the battle between Al B. Sure vs. Morris Chestnutt vs. Justin Timeberlake)

RESEARCHERS SAY THEY FOUND THAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARK SKIN STARTED WITH A TINY GENETIC MUTATION TENS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO.

THEY SAY THEY HAVE DISCOVERED A TINY CHANGE IN A SINGLE AMINO ACID THAT GOES A LONG WAY TO EXPLAINING WHY MANY EUROPEAN'S HAVE LIGHT COLORED HAIR, SKIN AND EYES. THE MUTATION PROBABLY FIRST OCCURED IN JUST ONE PERSON AMONG THOSE WHO MIGRATED NORTH FROM AFRICA..
THE GENE -- WHICH MAY HAVE PROVED TO BE BETTER ADAPTED FOR LIFE IN THE NORTHERN CLIMATE -- WAS THEN PASSED ON FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION...

THE STUDY 'S AUTHORS ARE WARNING NOT TO LOOK AT THIS AS THE DISCOVERY OF A "RACE GENE".. BECAUSE, THEY CAUTION, THERE IS MORE TO RACE THAN JUST SKIN COLOR...

SIDEBAR: Did you catch the fever when they talked about the migration from Africa? We are all African and we are all black. Me, you, Paris Hilton, every WASP in America and even Michael Jackson. In the immortal works of Halle Berry as Alex Haley’s great grandmother named Queen, "I is Negro."

TINA Fey, head writer on "Saturday Night Live" for six years, explained after accepting a N.Y. Women in Film award at the Hilton this week how it's decided what will air. "Our show is extremely fair," she said. "It is brutally fair. If it is funny, it will go to air. If it is not that funny, it will go to air later in the show." Photographer Bettina Cirone reports Fey — who was honored along with Julianne Moore, Woody Allen's film editor Sandy Morse and BET network boss Debra Lee — also cracked, "Kabbalah is an English form of publicity invented by Madonna."

STOCKBRIDGE, Ga. (AP) -- A Waffle House cook faces charges after authorities say he dared a homeless man to drink industrial-strength dishwashing liquid. The drink sent Rex Leo to the hospital.

WILMINGTON, N.C. (AP) -- A draft report says what's been known as the 1898 race riot in Wilmington actually was a planned insurrection devised by white supremacists.

The 1898 Wilmington Riot Commission concludes that the violence, which resulted in the deaths of an unknown number of black people, was part of a statewide effort to put white supremacist Democrats in office and stop political advances of blacks.

It's the only known violent overthrow of a government in U-S history. Afterward, white supremacists in state office passed laws that disfranchised blacks until the civil rights movement and Voting Rights Act. A former Wilmington mayor says blacks haven't recovered from the riot

Morgan Freeman says the concept of a month dedicated to black history is "ridiculous."
"You're going to relegate my history to a month?" the 68-year-old actor says in an interview on CBS' "60 Minutes" to air Sunday (7 p.m. EST). "I don't want a Black History Month. Black history is American history.

Petra Nemcova says she recently made a tearful return to modeling, but still devotes most of her time to the children's charity she established after recovering from injuries sustained in last year's tsunami.

BAGHDAD, Dec 16 (Reuters) - Iraqis have elected a representative parliament, completing a U.S. timetable to install democracy, but much work lies ahead if it is to survive its own bitter divisions to produce stability and prosperity.

Rebellious Sunni Arabs laid down their arms to vote on Thursday in the hope of winning concessions in parliament; but disappointment for them -- or other groups -- could bring yet more violence.

Women who take more than a year to conceive are more likely to have a baby boy, according to research published on Friday.
Scientists at Maastricht University in the Netherlands, who studied data on 5,283 women who had babies between July 2001-2003, found that the probability of having a boy was 58 percent if it took longer than 12 months to get pregnant.

POLICEMAN JAILED FOR SEX ACT ON STUDENT
By Aislinn Simpson, PA

A police officer was today jailed for performing sex act on another man as
they slept in the same bed after a boozy night out.

James McKenna, 29, of Flackwell Heath, Buckinghamshire, was sentenced to 18
months in prison by a judge at Reading Crown Court.

McKenna, a police officer for a year and a half, based at High Wycombe Police
Station, was convicted by a jury of sexual assault on a university undergraduate
in September last year.

The court was told that DNA on the victim's boxed shorts and genitalia matched
samples taken from McKenna's mouth.

SIDEBAR: I can’t take it! I had to read this twice to make sure I interpreted it correctly. No comment on this. It speaks for itself.
The victim said he had awoken to find McKenna performing the sex act after a
night out at the Here and Now bar in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, and threw
him out of the house before vomiting.

Ed Lover does the Ed Lover upside a woman’s head
Radio personality Ed Lover was charged yesterday with slugging a New Jersey woman in a Chelsea nightclub, police said.
The 42-year-old Power 105.1 deejay allegedly punched Letitia Belford, 26, at Duvet early Sunday, leaving her with a gash that took 20 stitches to close.

Foxy Brown still can’t hear

Rap diva Foxy Brown took the stage yesterday to detail her hearing-loss agony - saying she hasn't heard a human voice in six months.
"I have spent many confusing, agonizing nights crying in isolation and silence," Brown told reporters at a W. 57th St. soundstage owned by the BET network.
"But today, I stand before you blessed with only the voice of God in my ears as a vessel of inspiration."
The 26-year-old, Brooklyn-born artist, whose real name is Inga Marchand, wore a black leather Gucci jacket and a pair of tight Gucci jeans and was surrounded by supporters, including music and fashion mogul Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee Simmons

ENDQUOTE
"A FRIEND of mine is undergoing chemotherapy, but said in all seriousness, 'It's better than "Rent" ' "— Village Voice columnist Michael Musto.
Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 5:52 AM :: 0 Comments:

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