The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Friday, December 23, 2005

All I have is me. Loving and living with myself PLUS Christmas wit the Browns

Mood: Happy. I am not the type of guy who needs to look to the outside for happiness. Ok, here I am rambling. I have so much I want to share today. Let me just tell you I am happy today. The MTA strike is over so I rode the #2 to work today as I always do. My feets (yea..my feets) are not tired and I am well-rested with no bags under my eyes. Today is a man-hunting day.

TIGER ON THE PROWL. TIGER ON THE LOOSE. TIGER FEELING HOT TAMALE.
TIGER FEELING FILTHY GORGEOUS.

Mode: Today I am wearing some auburn and grey sneakers, blue jeans and one of my favorite little casual/urban preppy shirts that has "78" on the front. The shirt is baby blue and the 78 are of the auburn persuasion and is enclosed by grey lines. And the funny thing is that both of these items were mutually exclusive purchases and I just realized (this morning) that they match perfectly. It's kinda funny that you have tools in your life that match perfectly with other life tools you pick up along the way. You never realize that you have everything you need to survive and make it in life until you really put forth the effort. Sometimes we think we can't make it and that we don't know what we are doing, but little do we know that we have been equipped with all the survival skills we need. Despite the pain, the hurt, the anger, the turmoil....it has all given us little facets of information that will help us throughout the journey. I thought about that this morning as I put on my perfectly coordinated outfit.


Music that started off my day: Centipede by Rebbie Jackson. I was almost late to work cause I was getting my groove on. Unless there were studio dramatics going on, did anyone catch that gospel wail that Rebbie does at the end of the song? I was like...oh...can Rebbie really sing? "And its crawling like a centipede." And by the way, that song is about sex right? More specifically, is "centipede" a metaphor for a penis because I was listening to the song's lyrics and I think I would have been offended if I lived in one of the red states. Rebbie is freaky.

Question of the day: Why is there so much intra-group animosity? And this applies to all of our sub-categories as well. More to follow.

For those of you who are not celebrating the Bible or Jesus or anything semi-religious this season, I would like to share with you the religious symbolism of The 12 Days of Christmas so you can elect to refrain from singing this religious ditty.

1. A partridge in a pear tree is the one true God.
2. Two turtle doves represent the Old and the New Testaments.
3. Three French hens are faith, hope and charity.
4. Four calling birds are the four gospels.
5. Five golden rings signify the books of Moses.
6. Six geese a-laying are the days of creation.
7. Seven swans a-swimming are the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
8. Eight maids a-milking are the Beatitudes.
9. Nine ladies dancing are the fruits of the spirit.
10. Ten lords a-leaping mean the Commandments.
11. Eleven pipers piping represent the faithful apostles.
12. Twelve drummers drumming hail the Apostles' Cree

Last night I had a wonderful dinner...at home...with a special guest. The menu: bar-b-qued salmon, honey-mustard roasted potatoes, fresh green beans, and long grain wild rice. And the perfect bottle of 2002 french white wine. I have to thank No4real4real http://no4real4real.blogspot.com/ for a little inspiration because we had a conversation about salmon and I immediately went out and purchased some. And it was delicious. You all know I have shared with you tales of my kitchen skills. I have skills in several rooms on the home front, I just choose to share my culinary aspects with you (wink).
So back to last night...I had a special dinner guest. Now like I told you in my opening, I like to think that I can be happy within AND without anyone else. I discovered this while I was in high school. I got my first car at age 15, and like most kids, you want to hang out at the mall and go to the movies with all of your friends every chance you can get. I used to use my allowance to put gas in my car and drive my brand new black Toyota Tercel over to the Mister Carwash, cause I was not about to wash my own car in Houston (it is too hot to war your own car in Texas). And I loved going out. I went to the movies a lot...allegedly. My parents were like prison wardens and they rarely let me out the house and parties were a no-no. So I always had to pretend I was at the movies when I was really at someone's house on the floor dropping it likes its hot. I never drank or did drugs but I did sneak out the house to dance. Just like on Dirty Dancing.

For some reason I have always had socially flaky friends. The kind of friends who will call you at 8pm and tell you about a party. Call you at 10pm and ask what you are wearing. Then call you again at 11pm and tell you they are not going out. And the bad thing is that if this did happen I would have several friends cancel. Very much like saying if one person doesn't go then I won't go.

I learned early on if I waited around for other people to want to see the movies I liked or go to the concert and restaurants I liked that I might miss out on some experiences and pleasures. That is why to this day I do a lot by myself. From lunching, to shopping to the theater....sometimes I do not even consider buying more than one ticket. I think it is good to have that "me" time. I remember Cindy Adams said something one day that made a lot of sense to me. She said you should learn to enjoy your own company because YOU are the ONLY person you can count on being around for the rest of your life. I have a lot of friends who only go places if they have someone to go with them. Which I think is sad. Then I have some friends who see nothing wrong with saying "I am always in a relationship." I mean, they will get with anyone just so they can say they have someone. Cause some people fear being with themselves for even a small amount of time. Isn't that just a wee bit pathetic. I mean if you don't even want to be with yourself.....

But anyway I shared that with you because I often treat myself to nice meals both at home and away from home. And I like going out alone. Even at home, I pull out my cook books, go to gourmet grocery stores and get my ingredients and I have prime rib, stuffed pork chops, baked salmon, crawfish etoufee all by myself. Have a nice bottle of red or white and throw on my Teena Marie and I am happy. People often ask me who is coming over when I tell them what I am cooking. I reply "No one. I have to eat well for myself." I mean, honestly, do you expect me to eat bologna sandwiches just cause I haven't asked someone to join me? Makes me wonder what the hell other people eat at night. I don't do fast food. I don't do those Raman noodles and I don't do frozen food/frozen pizza/tv dinners.



But last night I did had a guest. A wonderfully handsome guest who entertained me with discussions of Bush's secret phone taps, the deconstruction and reconstruction of Madonna as a cultural icon, the mess and abyss that is Janet Jackson's career (a recurring theme with me) and the new releases by Jaime Foxx and Mary J. Blige ( I have not heard either).

I will tell you something that I can't experience alone. I like to cook for someone and walk back to the kitchen with a clean plate. I love it when I can feed someone and they devour every dish. Makes me really happy.

So did you watch Bravo's Christmas with the Browns?

Why was Whitney Houston walking around the house in a mink coat? She is SUCH a diva. And I loved it. She even put on a semi-combed wig. It could have been beat out just a little more but it was a step-up from one of those wigs she used to pick up off the closet floor and throw on her head. And by the way, she looked like she was coming down. She didn't look high. She looked like she was coming down...I'm just saying.

And Bobby Christina lost weight! I am sure they sent her to a fat farm for rich kids but hey....they're rich. Why they didn't do that a long time ago I don't know. The TODAY Show did a whole series on obese kids and little, I mean Big Bobbi Chris was a shining example. But you know what, with the loss of weight and the fresh long bone-straight weave they put in her hair she looks kinda cute. She still ain't cute enough to hang out with Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet's wild child, but I am happy to see her look decent. Maybe she will hang out with some other wild rich black kids, get a drug habit, an older boyfriend and a few DUIs. Then we can find her interesting outside of her parents. Wishful thinking for 2006.

Oh, back to the question of the day. SO let's pick a sub-group. Like black women in corporate America or gay black men in the fashion industry. Just pick a particular sub-group you are a member of but go deeper than just race or just the job or just religion. Add on like two or three additional markers. Now, why is it the smaller the pool gets...the nastier and cattier people are? Photo
I allow people to set the tone of their relationship with me. You decide how I act towards you. But I make sure everyone meets nice Tiger before I show any other side.
Bengal Tiger photo by James Gilden

GOSSIP:

I don't have any gossip to share with you. I hope someone gets arrested, divorced or dumped over the holidays so I can have something to report.

I want you to have a happy holiday season. I have quite a few parties on my agenda and I plan to give you all the gritty details as soon as I can. I am going to be styled-down. Pulling out the good stuff. Tiger is on the loose.
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Cheers,
TT

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 6:36 AM :: 3 Comments:

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