The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Sunday, August 28, 2005

VMA Sidebars

The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Ricky Martin - You betta give me butch. I see you done got all gangsta on us, hanging out on the rough side of Beverly Hills and stuff. Getting all hoody with studio-thugs fresh from the marketing departments of some of New York's finer recording companies. But here's the thing, your female background dancers are your friends. As they touch you and dance close, I get a sense of fear. Abandonment. Disconnection. I am sure they won't hurt you. And you wouldn't turn into a pillar of salt if you made eye contact. And if you did, I am sure your muscular personal trainer Juan Carlo would be there to sweep up the mess.

Lil Kim - I love you and will miss you. And by the way, I think it is safe for female inmates to pick up the soap, but if I were you I would stay away from the milk.

Missy and Ciara - The hand-holding was giving me too much.

Michelle - Congrats on the GAP commerical. You know I bought both of your gospel albums. Looking back on it, you owe me $36.

Fergie - The dress wasn't sexy....I think you crossed the line between tasteless and sexy.

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 7:45 PM :: 0 Comments:

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