The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

80's Flashback - and the 1st time I called a boy

Mood: Nostalgic. Looking back and reaching back like a Regina Belle album of classics.

Mode: A long sleeve shirt from Express Men formerly known as Structure. Unlike now, I didn’t grow up a Banana Republic boy. I hated the store and most of the young men I knew who shopped there. Black guys who wore Banana Republic were often men I didn’t care to befriend. There was a certain air about them. You may know what I mean if you think about a store brand and who shops there. There is most certainly a "type" of African-American male who shops at Abercrombie and Fitch exclusively. And I am not talking about a shirt here and a pair of socks there...I mean a Black guy who is AF down. A Black guy who only does J.Crew or Phat Farm, or BR. I think certain brands cater to personality types. But anyway, I am wearing Express Men because I used to wear Structure exclusively and I am flashing back today.


SIDEBAR: Can I just tell you my low-rise jeans are so tight I can barely breathe.

Munchies: A plate of fruit (pineapples, oranges, kiwi, and grapes)

Music that Started off my Day: Memory Lane by the late great Minnie Ripperton. Oh thank you Minnie. For the voice that has inspired the voice that is THE VOICE: Mimi. The great Mariah. Emancipated and free. Minnie, you sang a song so softly. Quietly moving from sultry to sexy to innocence to wisdom without wavering. Soaring high among the clouds yours was the voice of an angel in falsetto. Twirping like a bird. I fly freely.

Motif/Question of the day: Is being totally in love with someone a weakness, a strength or a bit of both?

I felt like revisiting the 80s and early 90s today. Those years that helped shape who I would become. The years that still affect who I am. The years that will still haunt me and I become who I will be. Yesterday there were two experiences in my life that had become foreign. They were not unfamiliar, but it had been such a long time since I had visited those emotions that I felt distant and cold.

I called a boy.

As of late, when I meet someone of interest it usually ends with me picking up a business card. From there I usually email the new connection. This is something I picked up along the way from a few friends in college. My good friend Clare will talk to a guy via email exchange for a month before she talks to him on the phone. And these aren’t little "Hi how are you doing" emails. She asks thought provoking questions. She wants to know about his family, his religion, his beliefs and his past loves. All the while you are discovering and uncovering, you become familiar with that person’s communication style outside of a phone conversation or a casual greeting. Often, people are most expressive in an email as you have to find words to take the place of body language, sadness and anger.

You get to see a side of their sense of humor that will inherently be different from their "in-person" conversation. And you can often detect a little about a person’s mode of communication. Is he facetious? Sarcastic? Verbose? Stimulating? And now I realize that I ask the same questions Clare asks and I often do it over email as well. But yesterday was different. A boy gave me his cell number and NOT a business card. I was forced to sit Indian-style in my room, in my bed, on my cordless phone with my music on low and nothing but the flicker from my lamp on the left side of the room. And then I called him.

And when I called him, it took me right back to high school. Back to tenth grade. When I used to finish my Geometry homework and rush to the phone with butterflies in my stomach and a smile on my face. When conversations were innocent. About what happened in homeroom, or at band practice and what movies we could go see together. As I dialed his number I felt jittery and giddy.

What if my voice isn’t deep enough? What if he thinks I am corny? What if we don’t like any of the same movies, or music, or museums? Will he think my Nicole Richie obsession is weird?


I never feel that way over email or in-person. But last night I went to a place I had not been for a while. Then…

I had a blind-meeting (we won’t call it a date per se) with a 1st-year grad student.

It has been so long since I went out with a total stranger. Not someone from a club or party or school or work but someone recommended. And he was 23. I never go out with anyone younger than me. Actually, I tend to only date men who are at least 5 years older than me. And meeting with him last night took me back to my first year of grad school at Northwestern. When I was so inquisitive, so argumentative, so dramatic, so anti-climatic. And I don’t know why he brought this out of me but as I sat there talking to him I quietly thought to myself that I could have been having this same conversation when I was 23. And he could have been 35.

I thought everything he said was wrong and e didn’t stimulate me intellectually (and it was not for his lack of education or fashion-sense. He was a snazzy dresser.) But his attempts to counter my points were pretty futile as was my level of engagement.

One thing I’ve noticed about persons who are not well-adept at expressing their opinions, (or perhaps they just choose not to share them as often or as loudly as persons like myself), is that instead of challenging my opinions and beliefs and where they come from, they would rather say "A contradicts B and that makes you wrong). So unimpressive.

We were engaged in a discussion and he went back to a point I made earlier (and mind you my point was facetious) and said I was wrong because I contradicted myself. Generally, I lose respect (intellectually) for persons who used contradictions to discredit another’s statement. It’s the one thing boring communicators have in common with lawyers. And I realize in court many cases are won based on contradictions and technicalities so that is useful, but if we are talking about fashion or cooking, don’t come at me saying I am wrong because I said we should sauté the chicken in olive oil but I actually used butter.

As you can gather from my profile, I own up to my contradictions. I think my contradictions are a big part of my character. I am totally pro-choice AND totally for the death penalty. I would say that is a contradiction. And I am fine with discussing my opinions and reasons for both and no one could convince me I can’t be both.

We ended the evening with him saying I was opinionated, manipulative AND interesting. Things I already knew. But it was good for the flashback.

Do you remember ………………..Oaktown’s 357?


I remember when this trio (later to become a duo formed by Terrible T and Sweet LD) were simply background dancers for MC Hammer. But MC Hammer had a heart of gold (and pants to match) so he thought he would give them a record deal and teach them to rap. Their first single was "Yeah Yeah Yeah." It was a big hit in Texas. I remember dancing to it in my bedroom with my door closed. I would watch the video on Video Soul with Donnie Simpson then I would run to my bedroom, close the door, pop in the tape and practice their moves. This was back in the day where all rappers danced. And they could dance!

Their next single was Juicy Gotcha Krazy featuring B. Angie B. And I will be honest with you, I remember the video so vividly that I can reenact the dance sequence for you. From the opening down to the dance breakdown at the end where B. Angie B. steps out from the pack and starts vibrating and rolling in front of a water fountain. I performed it this weekend in my bedroom.

After that, they only had one song I liked. It was their third single "We Like It" which sampled KC and the Sunshine Band. I remember this video but I have my own dance routine for this song. Can I show you?

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 5:42 AM :: 4 Comments:

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