The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Musings about Daisy, life, validation and Child Stars of the 80s

Mood: “Feelin good” Nina Simone has me going through some emotions today.



Mode: Dark seven jeans. A horizontally-stripped shirt that is blue, red and orange. Brown Kenneth Cole boots. Music: “Don’t Explain” by Nina Simone Hush now, don’t explain/Just say you’ll remain/Unless you’re mad, don’t explain/My love, don’t explain/What is there to gain/Skip that lipstick/Don’t explain/You know that I love you/And what loving does/All my thoughts are real/For I’m so completely yours

I put the record on and it took me right on through. About a lover who reappears. Nina was heartbroken. Hurt. Sad. But pleased. Happy he returned. Not interested in explanations. Just wanting the love. I played it three times. Then I cut of the lights. And I listened intensely. And I thought to myself. Maybe she is not singing to a lover. Sometimes we loose ourselves. The person who once were. The innocence we once had. Sometimes we need to return to ourselves. Just then a glimmer of myself flashed before my eyes. I remembered myself at 19. At 20. At 21. Before heartbreak. Before I knew real pain. Before I knew dishonesty. You know I think we never really loose that person. In spite of the abuse, the torture, the emotional drain. The push and the pull. He’s always in there. I felt him come back. Through Nina. I saw him. I felt him. I don’t know where he was. Or why he ever left me. And I choose not to ask. I am just happy he is back.

Munchies: I baked a Chicken, broccoli and rice casserole today. A special recipe my mom taught me that makes ours a bit meaty, hearty and healthy. It’s a real man’s meal. I ate it with Ritz crackers and I indulged in a glass of white wine. You know it’s good for the heart.

Motif: What nationality should your first-born be? I have recently learned that Meg Ryan is adopting a Chinese baby after having met the girl at a U.S. consulate in China. And with Angelina adopting from Ethiopia and Cambodia it seems the new “in” thing is a child from a nationality not of your own. And I love to be trendy. I am already online plotting. I was going through my closet today looking at all my hues and shades of brown and amber and then it hit me, I must adopt from an ethnicity that will match Ben Sherman’s Fall 2010 collection (the year I’ll be ready to adopt). The child must have red-undertones in his/her skin and should look good placed on my right hip when contrasted with my red Jack Spade bag. I can see me and my mixed raced baby now. Comparing and contrasting backgrounds and beliefs. Walking down the Avenue of the Americas (aka 6th ave). Me the Black writer. And my lovely Cablanasian child. She in a headwrap with hair freshly braided. Me dressed like a Samurai warrior. I can see the cover of VOGUE Magazine now. “Are babies the new accessory?” Me and La’Quinthia (I am going to give her a stereotypical name).



MISERY, THE BLOG, AND LIFE AND TIMES IN NYC

I have been called out today. A good friend of mine name Sparkle took me to task about my blogging drought (she is married to Andre 3000 in her head and we often go out on double dates – her/Andre with me/Nicole Richie). She told me “Don’t make me pull a MISERY on you.” So before you start pulling out the hammer and the wooden block, let me catch you up on the city. And the tiger.

You know you can really get lost in this city. Manhattan is only 12 square miles long but it is dense, intense and requires resilience. You have to be able to shake and bake, as Texas Tiger Sr. used to tell me. You meet people. Diversity is what I would call it. And not just amongst race and religion and creed. That is to be expected. But in New York you are separated and judged accordingly based on your pedigree (inherited and earned). Where you work. What position you play. Where you went to school. How much money you come from. Whether you summer in the Hamptons. Where you live. Is your beauty natural or altered (inner and outer).

And the questions go on. And on. Like the R. Kelly “In the Closet” series. Along the continun It becomes a bit grueling to endure. And the underlying and sometimes forebearing justification for all of this is summed up by the recently cancelled ABC series: The reasons why not.

New Yorkers search for reasons why not to have you in their social circle. Why not to date you. Why not to acknowledge your existence. Why not to validate you.

You know the whole “I don’t judge people” statement carries about as much weight as the Golden Globes/Academy Awards/Grammy statement “It’s just an honor to be nominated.”

Tell that to Susan Lucci.

We do judge. Some more than others. Some reasons valid. Others not.

There is a young lady in my building who says hello to me and I always nod back graciously. But I won’t allow her in my space because she has a certain energy about her. It may be drugs. It may be a seedy crime-induced lifestyle that includes gangbangers and greasy rappers. Or it may just be she is a Scientologist. Either way. I am not interested. And sometimes I feel bad about it. Then I think back to certain individuals I wish I would have NEVER allowed into my social circle and say to myself sthat the negative energy I feel from her is probably valid….so I keep it moving.

But I do not often like the high school like atmosphere of this thing we call life. We still have the outcasts, the trendy kids on the cusp, peppy bright-eyed cheer leaders, hypermasculine athletes, the uber-artists, and student council control freaks. They just each pick different career paths and we go on perpetuating the same insecurities that drove many of YOU (not me, of course) to drugs, premature sex, and underage drinking.

We replace those same vices with more adult pleasures like porn, gambling, backstabbing, career-climing and Kabbalah. And for what? So one day we can open our eyes in a hospital room and wonder what it was all for?

Is that all there is to this thing call life? Get as much as you can until you die?

Maybe it is. Perhaps. I only know so much at this point.

What I do know is that I did meet some great people in high school. And in my life I have been able to recreate some of those people.

DAISY'S WINTER WONDERLAND

There’s Daisy. She really is a flower. She blossoms. She blooms. And in some reversal of mother nature, I feel as though she waters me. And gives me nourishment.

So when I got an evite to celebrate her birthday I cleared my calendar. I was so excited that I mistakenly showed up to Flute (on East 23rd) a FULL week ahead of schedule. Evite and it’s small print!

But Thursday, I pick the right day and time. Daisy is so uber-known in New York her party even made a New York website with TWO pictures of the Texas Tiger AND one on the FIRST page!

The joint (FLUTE) was classy. What else would you expect from Miss Daisy. Her friends were all gorgeous in that New York way.

Fresh weaves. Hot hand bags. Glamourous labels. Noses slightly askew and lifted. Attitudes elevated. Men giving poses that say “yes, I am beautiful AND heterosexual.” Some believable.

Pasted smiles that were reminiscent of that Chaka Khan classic “Hollywood.” Men avoiding eye contact with each other. Pretty girls cloistered in enclosed and impenetrable circles amongst reflections of themselves. And the trendy white people who bring their own unique flavor to the trendy blacks parties.

It was one of those nights for me. A little bit of “Oh my god. I live in New York.” And a little bit of “Oh my god. Its like being back in the high school.”

I wasn’t unpopular in high school so I know how to navigate the sharky water but still…can we have one night where everyone acts like they have just popped an E-pill? Love. Angel. Music. Baby?


And then there was Daisy. So refreshing. So happy. And I had the pleasure of making a personal greeting for her birthday tape. Much like the homage I am subconsciously writing for
her know.

HONORING YOUR INNER CIRCLE THROUGH VALIDATION

I think for 2006 you should honor your friends. I think about the great people I know and I wonder do they know how much I appreciate them. Because I know some great people. Who have been there for me and who I know I can rely on. And since I have had friends lie to me, use me, sleep with people I am dating or just act out their jealousy in a number of subliminal exercises…I know the value of have good people in your life. And Daisy is like that.

That is why I like to call the people in my inner circle and say thank you. Sometimes I really say thank you for being a friend. Other times I just call for no reason and listen to them ramble. That’s also a way to show appreciation. I am so grateful to the people in my life who listen to me talk endlessly about Star Jones and Nicole Richie because I need that. I mean who else will listen to me if not my friends.

By that way, I had lunch with someone last week and I was going on and on about Star Jones and he stopped me and told me I was annoying him. At that moment I took the compass on my inner circle down from 90 degrees to 15 degrees, and sadly his point on the graph was excluded.


We need validation. We are social beings and we want to know that we exist to others. For me and Star Jones, it’s not just talking about her but it is what the whole Star Jones persona represents to me (which you will learn about in my tribute).

At that particular moment, I did not feel validated. Sure, you can get tired of my talking but if you are my friend, perhaps he could have asked “what does this Star Jones woman represent for you that you need to talk about it so much?” Rather than just telling me to shut up.
I try to validate my friends. That is what the intimacy of friendship is about. Understanding. Hearing. Sharing. Without that…what is the point?

I can get ignored by strangers on the street. No need to waste my time going dutch with you on shrimp and lobster.

If I need to clear my list of conversation topics with you, it’s a lunch I can skip. I’d rather eat alone.

Would have been more interesting company.


CommeTerry on all you need to know.

First Mary Kate battles bulimia (all the while looking fabulous I might add) Then Jamie Foxworth goes on Oprah to denounce her porn past while Leif Garrett gets caught on a heroin bust. AND NOW Jodie Sweetin (of Full House) is addicted to crystal meth. What are we doing to the child stars of American TV?

I am going to tell you right now, as God is my witness, if any crazy tabloid-esque drama ever pops off with Raven-Symone of the Cosby Show I am going to write the Bush administration and show them how a simple google-search of “child star” links to tons of drug induced porn sites and then I will lobby Congress with corporate sponsorship from Planned Parenthood and the Conservative Families of America to make sure child actors are banned from sitcoms. They are destroying America! We will see how Hollywood responds once I get Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh on their backs.

SIDEBAR: Don’t you wonder why pretty girls do porn? I mean I don’t think guys will want to see unpretty girls doing naughty things but Jaime IS beautiful. Did you see her on Oprah? I mean, she could have become a high-priced call girl of something. But porn? And she has the nice cocoa skin and long “good “ hair, she could have at least pulled a rapper. But that is what happens when you don’t love yourself. She needs to be like me and read Shine: A physical, emotional and spiritual journey to finding love by Star Jones Reynolds. Before you do porn, at least try do a C-list rapper.

A shout-out to my Texas Idol Liz Smith. I lifted this from her column today and I think she sums up the whole Hilary Clinton debacle quite famously:

'IDEAS MOVE rapidly when their time comes," wrote author Carolyn Heil brun. It's odd that Sen. Hillary Clinton's "plantation comment" caused everybody to get into such a lather. If you read the entire statement she made, it's clear she was talking about the problem of one-party rule, nothing whatsoever to do with race. (But because she had a largely black audience, she was misconstrued.)

She said, "When you look at the way the House of Representatives has been run, it has been run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about. It has been run in a way so that nobody with a contrary view has a chance to present legislation, to make an argument, to be heard."
The New York senator said this same thing about a year ago on CNN, and nobody flinched. And the Republicans' Newt Gingrich said something similar when the Democrats controlled Congress.

At the time he complained: "Since they (the Democrats) think it is their job to run the plantation, it shocks them that I'm actually willing to lead the slave rebellion."
So both these polarizing politicians were remarking from their own positions that it is never a good thing when one party controls everything.

Republicans who are in a snit over Hillary's remark were very quiet when their man Newt said the same thing some years ago.

Goggle won’t get in bed with Bush

Google is standing firm, refusing to give in to the Bush administration insistence that the No. 1 Internet search engine allow government to do some searches of its own in regard to downloading porn. But you should all know that Yahoo and AOL already gave in to Bush. Damn you! From now on I would suggest you search for porn on google or away from home (like at work) just to be safe. Luckily I am not worried about porn searches, however, I have no desire to explain to anyone why I spent 4 hours googling fansites for the 1980s TV series Dynasty. It’s my own personal pleasure and I will not stand for ridicule. And FYI – I will be devoting a full day of coverage to a Dynasty tribute very soon.

VENGEFUL VIXEN

OH, no, she didn't! How's this for B-list logic: Britney Spears stole away Shar Jackson's babies' daddy, Kevin Federline, so Jackson has struck back by sleeping with Spears' ex-husband, Jason Alexander. Jackson showed up at the 25th-birthday party for singer Ray J, Brandy's younger brother, in L.A. Saturday night with Spears' redneck ex-hubby in tow. A spy says, "They made out all night before going upstairs to the off-limits bedroom area of the house." The rumpled duo rejoined the party an hour later, we hear - much to the surprise of Brandy and her new beau, Nick Cannon. A rep for Jackson declined comment.

STILL TOO HEAVY

WHAT does Star Jones expect? She writes a book about her stunning 150-pound weight loss, goes on the road to promote it - and then blows her stack when someone asks her how she did it. The formerly porcine princess had it out last week with Steve McCoy, co-host of "The Steve and Vikki Morning Show" on Atlanta's Star 94 FM, when he said he heard she had "the procedure" done in Atlanta, referring to her rumored stomach-stapling. "The fact that you would irresponsibly repeat gossip you have no factual basis for . . . that is categorically incorrect," Jones fumed over the phone. "I'm surprised you would repeat something that is clearly gossip. I don't fall into these games," and hung up. She later called McCoy the "single rudest person who ever interviewed me." Jones' rep insisted, "She did not hang up on the radio station."

BLUE OVER BLACKBERRY GALS

VOGUE editor-at-large Andre Leon Talley is putting his enormous foot down when it comes to the "CrackBerry" addictions of his friends Mariah Carey and Naomi Campbell. Talley complains in February's Vogue that his glamorous gal pals are constantly tapping away on their BlackBerrys, even while dining at fancy restaurants. Detailing a trip to Russia with Campbell and Marc Jacobs in his column, Talley writes, "On this trip, the only out-of-control Naomi Campbell behavior I witnessed was compulsive BlackBerrying. Personally, I find this new BlackBerry culture annoying to the point of exasperation. On several occasions, I have observed other iconic personalities, such as Mariah Carey, forget that while at a formal dinner it is not exactly good manners to drop the BlackBerry into your lap and start e-mailing." Informed of Talley's tsk-tsk-ing, Carey's manager, Benny Medina, told PAGE SIX, "The utilization of this technology is commonplace and it's unusual that he would actually feel the need to single her out. They were just speaking over the phone last week about outfits for the Grammys and stuff . . . I'm sure Andre didn't mean any harm."

A big corporate merger

From Defamer.com - : After some aggressive flirtation, Disney’s Robert Iger and Pixar’s Steve Jobs were finally permitted by their respective boards to succumb to their mutual lust, shed their inhibitions, and fall into Jobs’ rotating, Mickey-shaped waterbed in a tangle of mouse ears and iPod accessories to “complete the transaction.” The two companies have announced that Disney will swallow up longtime hitmaking partner Pixar. and the pair shared a sweet, postcoital cigarette to celebrate the love that once seemed all but snuffed out by a sour break-up with former Disney boss Michael Eisner:

Another Merger

Two small, long-struggling television networks - UPN and The WB - will shut down this fall and programming from both will be used to launch a new network aimed mainly at young and minority viewers.
The new network will be called The CW - "C" for CBS Corp. and "W" for Warner Bros. - each of which will own half of the new entity and contribute programs, assets and executives to the venture.

Britney Baby’s daddy gonna impregnate your ears

The rap debut of Kevin Federline - known as K-Fed to some but to most as Mr. Britney Spears - features only a snippet of his lyrical prowess. Given the response to it, even less might have been better.
"PopoZao," Brazilian-inspired groove which features Federline rapping about large posteriors in-between a few yelps and a gruff-voiced chorus, made its debut on the Internet earlier this month. Though the track is three minutes long and Federline's rap lasts for less than a minute, it has already become a popular music track circulating on the Web. But not in a good way. The track has been getting TERRIBLE reviews but if William Hung and Ashlee Simpson can get hit records, we may be seeing a lot more of K-Fed. I mean, he raps better than Trina.

Kate Moss to appear in London to answer questions

Kate Moss has finally agreed to be questioned by London police in the coming weeks about her alleged cocaine use, but that hasn't stopped her partying. The 32-year-old model celebrated her birthday with a 13-hour bender in Paris on Saturday, reports London's Mirror. Moss started her day drinking at the Ritz, then went to a dinner with a gaggle of model friends, including Naomi Campbell. The group returned to her $1,700-a-night hotel suite at 4 a.m., and were only heard from the next afternoon when she ordered room service …

Is J Lo preggers?

Jennifer Lopez, 36, and Marc Anthony, 37, have been doing "tons of shopping" for baby gear lately, says a source near to the couple. "He was at Fred Segal on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles last week and bought a Guys Infant Gear diaper bag for $120," a spy tells msnbc.com's Jeannette Walls. "He said something that made it pretty clear that it wasn't a gift." Lopez's rep still insists that she's not expecting.

Race to the Altar – Raise to Judge Mabeline

A trend that may be occurring right beneath your radar is the tendency of moneyed men to call it quits before they're forced to fork over serious sums.

Consider billionaire Ron Perelman, 62, so to split from actress Ellen Barkin, his fourth wife. With five years of marriage under their belts, their prenuptial agreement allots Barkin $20 million in the event of a breakup. But here’s the hitch, she could receive a lot more if she makes it past their preset date which is right around the corner.

But Perelman will have none of that. He has gotten burned before. His third wife, Patricia Duff, "reportedly got $30 million after 17 months of marriage," said a source. "Ellen has been married to him for five years."

Like Perelman, Tom Cruise left Nicole Kidman just one month shy of their 10-year anniversary in 2001. The Hollywood couple didn't have a prenup; instead, under California law, Cruise was required to pay alimony for half of the length of time the marriage lasted. Makes you wonder how long Miss Katie will last doesn’t it? Or maybe we can assume Katie will be able to date a heterosexual man by the times she turns 35. Not that I am saying Tom is a hetero….I’m just sayin.

And Donald Trump de-trumped Marla Maples by filing for divorce just weeks before their fourth anniversary. Had they survived the date, Maples would have netted millions, but walked away with the sum dictated by the couple's original prenup: $2 million and child support for their daughter Tiffany.

Now to be married to a billionaire and only walk away with $2 million, Miss Maples did not seem to have the power of the P. She should have at least been able to throw in a 360 –spin and get iut up to $5 million, right?

Moral of the story – when the due date on your pre-up is around the corner, reach under the bed and pull out a routine your partner didn’t know you knew. My good friend April (shout out to April) always told me “Never show ‘em ALL your tricks.” It’s really good to keep at least 5 secret back spins and leg lifts to yourself – cause you never know.

The return of my TV Idol!

Former Minnesota Viking Ahmad Rashad - who's 56 but looks 10 years younger returns to ABC this Saturday: "NBA Access With Ahmad Rashad," a behind-the-scenes, up-close-and-personal "real-life drama" about the personalities in pro basketball. (The debut episode, at 1 p.m. on Channel 7, features Shaquille O'Neal and Sacramento Kings owners Joe and Gavin Maloof.)



Mr. Rashad, divorced from "Cosby" star Phylicia Rashad, is dating Sale Johnson, the rich ex-wife of billionaire Jets owner Woody Johnson. The couple were introduced by Donald Trump on a golf course.

So for all of you hating on my IDOL cause he has a white girlfriend, how many millions would you be bringng to the table? And it ain’t about money but its not like this is a “typical” story of a rich black man trolling a trailer park for a “come up” wife.

Hi Montel!

One last note: The family of slain rapper Biggie Smalls is still fighting for justice in the unsolved case in which they've accused rogue cops of plotting the murder and coverup.The Brooklyn-born rapper's mom and his widow, R&B singer Faith Evans, may add a civil-racketeering charge to their soon-to-be-filed renewed wrongful death suit against the city and LAPD, one of their lawyers said yesterday.

The family alleges convicted corrupt LAPD cops Rafael Perez and David Mack conspired with Smalls' archrival, Death Row Records honcho Marion (Suge) Knight, to have the rapper killed after a party in March 1997.

TOMORROW……

And please tune in tomorrow night at 8, NBC will air "Jamie Foxx: Unpredictable," a one-hour special featuring musical numbers, including songs from his new CD, plus filmed vignettes highlighting points in his life. During the special he performs songs with Stevie Wonder, Common, Mary J. Blige, Snoop Dogg and the Game.

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 7:50 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post / Read Comments

---------------oOo---------------